Better...

Harris is doing much better on the new formula, unfortunately now he is spitting up after nursing which may be mean a lactose allergy (since I am still consuming dairy and the new formula is some artificially altered version with out lactose). BUT a little spit up is sure better then how unhappy he had been. Over the last week, while we were transitioning to the new formula, mommy and daddy waited each day to see -- to see if our little man was going to be fussy, to see if he was doing all the things he was supposed to do... it is amazing how excited one can get for a "poopy diaper" when you haven't seen one in a few days or how exciting it is to hearing cooing that is clearly happy. Having a happy baby has been wonderful -- now that Harris is feeling better we have even been catching him smiling much more.

So Harris is feeling better -- but his eating patterns have become all kinds of crazy. Harris is officially eating between 1 and 6ozs a feeding! I know- a huge range... here is what happens:

He starts out the day only wanting small amounts in fact he would gladly stop eating after an oz (if its a bottle) or about 6 minutes (if I am nursing), though I try and force at least two at a time or he is eating every 40 minutes. As the day goes on, he generally takes a bit more each feeding... so it goes with out saying that just as Mommy and Daddy sit down for dinner Harris decides he is starving - I suppose decides suggests he is doing this intentionally and though I am not entirely convinced he is not I will give him the benefit of the doubt. He is so hungry he can not bear to have less then 5 or 6 ozs, which takes him at least 30 minutes to finish! By then our warm, fresh dinner is a distant memory!

OH and sometimes the little man switches it up -- you know just for fun! The last time we were at the doctor he said we could let him eat at will -- I was excited then, a milestone of sorts. BUT believe me I liked the mandatory 3 oz every 3 hours schedule better, now I never know what is coming. Inevitably I either have had to make more because I thought it was going to be a small feeding (and of course this has to be done with screaming baby at my side), or I have to throw out formula, or worse breast milk, because I have made/warmed too much.

3 Months

Harris is 3 months old today (gestational age is one month) and in honor of the special day I weighed him -- well I weighed him and myself and then myself and did some simple math -- and VIOLA Harris weighs 11lbs on the dot! He is getting to be such a big guy. Each day we are seeing him get stronger, yesterday Mommy and Daddy were both impressed by how well Harris was holding his head up. Seemingly overnight we noticed Harris pushing himself back when he was being held. Of course with any new skill there certainly is a limit and usually this results in Harris head butting whoever is holding him - Mommy even has a war wound, a split lip.

I am sure Harris would have developed this head control on his own -- eventually, but I like to think the little man's progress is somewhat related to the exercises we do everyday. Harris was discharged with "PT for Home" and we have been working diligently. To promote this even more, and to get us all out of the house, I have been taking Harris to Gymboree. NOW - before I had a son I wondered why oh why would you pay to take a infant, who basically has no idea where he is or who he is with, to a class. But the PT mentioned Gymboree to me when Harris was still in the NICU, so I looked in to it - and we have gone to two classes and it is great! Harris's favorite part: definitely the bubbles. (Yes, I know I can blow bubbles I purchase from the dollar store at home!)

The class has been eye opening for me. Harris is the second youngest, there is one two month old, another 3 month old, and a few 4 month old babies. Our little man is the smallest and definitely can't do some of the things all the other babies can do (like support his upper body when he lays on his stomach, pay attention to songs, laugh, etc). BUT he can do a lot more then a 4 week old could and in the week between our first and second class he was doing a lot more himself. So we will keep it up!

Who needs milk anyways?

While Harris may be big enough to supplement with regular calorie formula, his poor little stomach has not loved digesting it. It is clear, even when Harris was on the preemie formula that formula was not as easy to digest for him as breast milk - but for reasons beyond our control (as is the case with so much of Harris's beginning) we went with it and he was a full and happy little man. So I was confident that when the doctor told us to switch to regular formula it would be an easy transition, not to mention a more cost effective one. Boy could I not have been more wrong.

So we diligently went to the store and bought the Similac Advanced - and began to feed it to him. The more he had the more we noticed that he was having gas and trouble going to the bathroom - all of which made him very fussy and angry. But we kept it up at the doctors advise, he may just be adjusting. In the mean time the doctor (or more specifically the triage nurse who I spoke to almost daily over the last two weeks) had us use a random array of interventions, none of which seemed to work all that well, to help ease his discomfort and support him in going to the bathroom regularly. Then I gave up - I just knew it wasn't right. Plus I was exhausted - the little man seemed to be getting worse - he was fussing and crying more and his screaming and crying was directly correlated with a gurgly stomach.

So yesterday I spoke to one of the pediatricians who agreed with me and said that he should be digesting on his own, as he had been previously and so it was time to try a different formula (still cow's milk) - Nestle Good Start. If Nestle makes it what could be bad, so I ran out and bought the new brand, two varieties and we have spent the last 24 hours attempting it. His stomach seemed better almost immediately BUT Harris hates it! He actually gags when the seemingly harmless fluid hits his tongue (Funny Mommy and Daddy never had that reaction to nestle products). He only swallows in desperation when he is so hungry he can't go on. So today I spent the day nursing almost every two hours - which is still not fulfilling him and trying to get him to take the supplement. But it came to a head tonight when I attempted to give Harris his feeding and he gaged and then opened up his mouth and all that he had taken it came spilling out.

Back to the drawing board... we will see what the pediatricians suggest tomorrow. In the mean time, and after hours searching the preemie boards I often turn to, and a conversation with a good friend. I am trying Similac Sensitive -- at least I can get him to eat tonight and maybe even sleep!

Swimming

Harris had his first swim today! This is just the start of many days of fun in the sun (well the shade, with lots of coverage from the actual sun).

w

Eat, Play, Sleep

We have a rhythm folks! Harris has found himself a little routine. For over a week I have been wondering if I was not trying hard enough to impose a routine, or if I would even recognize one when it happened. Then yesterday the routine was clear to me - Eat, Play, Sleep. This same schedule rotates every 3-4 hours throughout the day. Interestingly Harris's signals that he needs to sleep and eat are exactly the same - high pitched whining and rooting. So it is up to us to make sure where know where we are in the schedule - because if you feed when you should sleep you are sure to have a HUGE amount of spit-up on your hands, and your cloths, and the floor... Luckily for us, we have recently gotten some great newborn toys that seem to occupy playtime and the little man can still nap anywhere, so the routine works nicely at home or on the go.

So during the day Harris is napping - usually for about 2 hours at a time - overnight he is definitely SLEEPING for about 3 hours at a time, skipping the need for play after a feeding. Feedings are still taking an hour - but since they are 4 hours apart, and Harris is able to go right back down after he "eats," both Harris and Mom are getting an extra hour of sleep! This exciting change in our night time routine can be credited to one thing. THE MAGIC BEAR. What is the magic bear you ask? It is this amazing bear that attaches to the crib and makes "Wawawawa" sounds. The box claims it is the sound of the womb, I don't really care what it is the sound of, but what I KNOW is that since we attached that bear to his crib on Sunday he has fallen right to sleep with out the crying, there is no need for mommy or daddy to get up and restart the mobile, or the aquarium that previously served as his sleep time tools. Instead we wind up the bear, put on the mobile and Harris settles in for at least 3 hours of sleep. Technically the bear is called a mommy bear - but for our purposes it is magical and needless to say I love it. OH and I love Uncle Vin for buying it.

Miracle Baby

Our amazing families, specifically my sister and all the grandparents threw a welcome party for Harris, complete with jungle balloons and monkey and elephant cakes. A welcome party - because in the craziness of my pregnancy and Harris's birth, I never had a baby shower. To be honest, while one was planned early on, I was ambivalent about a shower to begin with -- concerned that a shower would be bad luck, somehow cause something to go wrong -- and that was even before I had any idea!

So we had our welcome home party and Harris was in all his glory surrounded by family and friends. It is amazing to watch how loved he is, how people marvel over him, and how he seemingly LOVES it. More then once yesterday I heard someone say that he was a miracle. A miracle. To me amazing, to us a blessing - but a miracle. The honest to goodness truth is that I was never willing to believe that we were not going to have a happy ending, though I feared it on an occasion or two - and probably still do. And for the last five months, before our little man was born; to the crazy NICU days; to the first weeks home, I had been too busy living the chaos to have time to step back and look at it all and recognize the "miracle."

So... today when I watched Harris play in his swing and then play with Dad on his new playmat (thank you Aunt Lauren). I felt overwhelming pride - he was PLAYING, reaching for toys, kicking to turn on music, and cooing at Dad (wahoo! a step towards talking). Harris is an amazing little man - and while we may not be done with obstacles, the fact that the first few weeks (both in utero and out) were so amazingly challenging and I am now able to watch him, just like any other mother of a two month old may just be a miracle. Sure feeding is still a pain, and he may still be doing a few less things then our neighbor's two month old, but what he can do is truly miraculous!

No Naps = No Good

Yesterday Harris didn't take a nap. Now don't get me wrong he slept, I mean he still sleeps a good part of the day but, aside from the morning when he slept to 10:30 he didn't take the extended 3 hour nap that we have come to love. I didn't really notice, he was in and out of sleep all day and it wasn't until last night when Harris and I were out with Aunt Hayley and Harris was super fussy that it dawned on me that I hadn't seen him have a good stretch of sleep. Guess we are at the point where I need to make sure that is happening, because clearly the lack of this extended period made my generally pleasant baby fussy - all he wanted was to be held, and be held while he was holding his elephant, wrapped in a blanket and had a passifier in his mouth (which we generally do not do unless emergencies - but last night in Anthropologie it was definitely an emergency). THEN to top it off he refused to go to sleep when we got home - turns out while Harris looks like Daddy he gets overtired just like mommy and boy is it fun for the rest of us! SO new goal today - NAPS!

Puppies and Parties

Well it is official - Jeb and Harris love each other. Before Harris came home I was concerned that Jeb would hate him, or worse yet (for me at least) run away and spend time hiding from both all of us. Jeb spends most of the day sitting by Harris, ensuring he is not being mistreated - as if. The mornings start with Jeb and Harris staring at each other - just staring. The rest of the day involves Jeb sitting below Harris's swing while he sleeps, climbing on our laps when we hold the baby and running between the little man and who ever is around whenever Harris even approaches upset.

Harris went to his first birthday party. Harris was a huge hit at Valleri's second birthday brunch at our good friends Angela and Rajiv's house. Jayden, Ang and Rajiv's 4 year old son, spent much of the day introducing the children to "baby Harris" and making sure that the baby was safe and no kids touched him. It was amazing to watch as these children, whom I have known and loved since they were infants, welcomed our son with open arms... we are so very lucky!